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Daniel Bernard

How to Balance Love and Legacy in a Second Marriage?

January 17, 2025
Navigating the complexities of blended families requires careful consideration of both emotional dynamics and legal rights to ensure that everyone's interests are protected.

Getting married for the second or even third time can present many complications and/or challenges for estate planning, finances and family dynamics. A thoughtful strategy can build a harmonious family and protect legacies, according to a recent article from The Street, “Love and Legacy: Balancing the Two in a Second Marriage.”

Finances can be a flash point for subsequent marriages, especially if spouses have different levels of assets. Mature couples typically come to a second marriage with children, houses, retirement accounts, alimony and credit card debt. How will assets be distributed, what will inheritances look like and how will the couple plan for the future? These are just a few questions to address when marrying again.

Other issues to consider:

Home ownership. Should the new spouse be added to the deed if one spouse owns a home and the other spouse moves in? This has implications for estate planning. If both spouses are on the deed, what is the plan upon the death of the first spouse? If the home automatically passes to the surviving spouse, the children of the deceased spouse may be excluded from their share of the home ownership. Since for many of us on Long Island, with home values among the highest in the nation, our home is often our most valuable asset. The distribution of the home in a second or later marriage can be fraught with landmines, but there are a few different strategies to make the distribution of the home fair among both families and also cause no upheaval to the surviving spouse's life and living situation.

Beneficiary designations. Marrying again with healthy retirement accounts requires looking ahead. If the new spouse is named a beneficiary, are the deceased’s children disinherited? What if a spouse wishes to leave money to their biological children only. However, the surviving spouse won’t have enough money to live on? It is possible to give the surviving spouse an income interest in a retirement account, essentially have the surviving spouse continue to receive the interest and dividends to live on, but then have the principal of the account go to the first spouse to die's heirs upon the second spouse's passing.

Inheritance rights. Balancing the inheritance of biological children while ensuring that the spouses have protected each other takes advance planning. Without it, a surviving spouse could be left homeless or dependent upon adult children for support. A marital trust to provide for the surviving spouse, while ensuring an inheritance for the children may be the right solution.

Social Security benefits. For those who counted on the higher benefit level of their first spouses, remarrying may impact SSI, surviving spouses, or divorced surviving spouse benefits. This is something to explore before marriage, since it can’t be undone.

These issues may feel overwhelming. However, tackling them before marriage can prevent friction between the couple and stepchildren. Among the many plans for a wedding, an appointment with an estate planning attorney should be made to create a personalized estate plan to address your unique situation, including children from prior marriages.

Your meeting should also include a complete review of all wills, trusts, beneficiary designations and retirement plans. Ensure that your documents reflect your new marriage and distribute assets according to your wishes.

Blended families are complicated and require personalized estate, tax, and financial planning. The increasing numbers of people choosing to love again and blend their families show how much people value being part of a family. Protecting your family with a well-thought-out estate plan can start a new marriage on the right foot.

Reference: The Street (Dec. 19, 2024) “Love and Legacy: Balancing the Two in a Second Marriage”

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Bernard Law P.C. Estate Planning and Administration
Daniel Bernard
Estate Planning Attorney

45 Route 25A, Suite A-2,
Shoreham, New York 11786.

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